The Dreaming Man
by Bekki Beekeeper
Summary: After the events of Journey's End, the Doctor finds himself face-to-face with a man in search of Donna Noble.


_**Title:** The Dreaming Man  
**Fandom:** Doctor Who (Tenth Doctor)  
**Words:** 2,610  
**Summary:** After the events of Journey's End, the Doctor finds himself face-to-face with a man in search of Donna Noble._

**_Doctor Who:_  
The Dreaming Man**

The man in the corner bore all the signs of somebody in search of something distant and unobtainable. The years and miles showed plainly on his face despite his youth; he retained a softness to his features nevertheless, a friendly smile waiting to be employed. His eyes – which were almost as dark as his hair – had been infused with a kind of set determination that, like his face, gave testament to his long and futile journey.

The Doctor found himself glancing over to that man in the corner rather self-consciously. For the entire duration of his time on this planet, the Doctor had glimpsed him wherever he went. It could be coincidence… but did he really believe in such things? Donna's voice piped up inside his head, teasing him playfully: _What's your name then, Doctor? 'Mr. Centre-of-the-Universe'? If he's following anyone, it'll be me!_

He smiled, but it was quick to fade.

There was nothing to keep him on this planet now; he'd seen the laser-sculpture gallery and sampled the cuisine, but the artwork had seemed colourless and the food bland. Things were never as enjoyable when he was on his own. He might as well leave now.

So he stood up, abandoning his half-finished plate of frosted Jintra beans in favour of retrieving his coat from the restaurant's cloak room. The assistant handed it over with a polite smile that didn't quite touch his eyes. The Doctor thanked him and left.

The air outside was cold and full of moisture, though no rain was falling. The Doctor was reminded forcibly of Earth – a thought he was quick to shed. He considered, instead, his next destination; there were so many places, so many times…and what else could he do, but move on to the next planet, moon, space-station?

He reached the TARDIS, which was parked around the corner on an avenue of trees modelled from metal. The light shining through the translucent leaves was soft and beautiful. The Doctor swept a look around it all, feeling another pang that Donna couldn't be here to see this with him.

He sighed and produced the TARDIS key from his pocket. He was just turning it in the lock when he became aware of somebody behind him. Cautiously, he withdrew his key and turned around.

It was the man from the restaurant.

"Listen," said the Doctor angrily, before the man could speak. "I don't know who you are, or what you want, but I'm not in the mood, alright?"

The man opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out: only a stutter. The Doctor turned his back on him and stepped into the TARDIS, making to slam the door behind him – only to meet with resistance as his pursuer moved forward to bodily block the doorway.

"D-Donna," he managed at last, the word tumbling from his lips and an urgent fire in his eyes. The Doctor gave him a warning look, but the intruder took no notice, ploughing on through his sentence. "W-w-where… is she?"

He cast a wild look around the TARDIS, as though expecting her to leap out from behind one of the coral-like beams. When she didn't, his searching gaze returned to the Doctor.

"Home," the Doctor replied, quietly. "She's gone home. Maybe you should do the same."

But the man shook his head fervently. "No. I h… I have to find her."

"Why?" the Doctor asked suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"Lee – her…" He paused, closed his eyes in frustration. "I'm her…" Another pause, until he finally burst out: "…_husband_."

The Doctor stared at him. "What did you say?" Lee opened his mouth to repeat it, but the Doctor hastily interrupted, "No, don't worry, I heard you. Oh…" He trailed off, comprehension dawning on his face. "The Library."

Lee nodded fervently. The Doctor reached for the nearest railing and leaned heavily against it.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, not looking at Lee. "If you're looking for Donna, I… I can't help you."

"What… do you mean?" Lee's voice held a note of panic.

"I told you," the Doctor replied, his tone suddenly harsh as he pushed himself away from the barrier. "She's gone home."

"That's not what you m-meant," Lee accused, frowning deeply. "What's h-happened to m-my wife?"

The Doctor looked at him. "She's safe and well," he said.

"Th-then take me t-to her!"

"I _can't_." The Doctor maintained eye-contact with Lee for another second before turning away. Guilt was washing through him. How could he explain to this man, who had loved Donna in another life, that she would not remember him?

"N-not good enough! You've got…to take me to her!"

"I can't!" the Doctor repeated, rounding on him. "She's gone home. For good. She's safe and she's happy, and I'm going to make sure she stays that way."

But Lee would not accept it; his hands balled into fists as he demanded, "H-how can she be h-happy without _me_?"

"Because she doesn't remember! I wiped her memory to save her life and now she doesn't remember!"

The words had burst from him, fuelled by the very depths of his loneliness, his frustration and his guilt. He regretted them immediately. Their impact on Lee was instantaneous and terrible to watch: the colour drained from his face as the hope vanished from his eyes.

"You…? H-how? No, _w-why_?""

Accusation rang high and anguished from Lee's disbelieving questions. He was staring at the Doctor with stunned incredulity, and if ever the Doctor had wanted to run, it was now.

"I'm sorry."

"T-tell me – _why_?" Though he was speaking quietly now, the Doctor recognised the barely-restrained rage that was creeping into Lee's voice.

He had no choice but to explain. He told Lee about the twenty-seven planets, how they were to be the instrument to the universe's destruction; he explained, as simply and as clearly as he could, about the metacrisis that had given Donna the mind of a Time Lord.

"Oh, you should have seen her, Lee," he whispered, eyes shining at the memory. "She was magnificent. Of all the races on all the worlds… only Donna Noble could be _so_ brilliant, _so_ human as to save every living thing in existence. More than that, every atom in the universe remains in tact because of her. But it was too much – the metacrisis, I mean. It was burning her mind. I had to make her forget…and she can never remember. I'm sorry," he concluded, helplessly.

"My D-Donna… saved the u-universe?"

"Oh yes," the Doctor murmured. "So many times."

"B-but you don't understand," Lee said suddenly: "she won't have forgotten me. She c-can't have."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said again. And he truly was.

A moment passed in silence. Finally, Lee tried again.

"Alright, then. I won't tell her. I'll m-meet her like it's the f-first time. She f-fell in l-love with me once."

His face was resolute, shining with that same fierce belief he'd had when he had first entered the TARDIS. The Doctor's hearts sank lower than they'd ever been. He smiled sadly.

"It's impossible. She's too fragile. Any suggestion of her past – anything she's seen, anyone she's met since setting foot inside these doors – and the illusion will be shattered. The memories will resurface and she'll die, Lee, do you understand me? She will die."

"No," Lee said, and his tone was startlingly decisive. "I've f-followed you, Doctor. For years, I've f-followed you. I've h-heard w-who you are and what you've d-done. You t-talk about impossibilities. Yet b-by all accounts, you overcome the impossible. It's w-what you d-do and w-who you are. S-so I'm t-telling you, Doctor: _find a way_!"

For the Doctor, it was too painful. He wished Lee would rage him, hit him if he had to, but work through his anger and then leave. He just wanted to be alone again.

"You think I haven't tried?" he seethed. "You think I haven't wondered every waking moment how I could have saved the person she'd become? She's Donna as you've never known her, Lee. Even if it wouldn't kill her, even if you could live happily ever after, she's not the woman you married."

"M-maybe not," Lee replied, and the Doctor was dismayed to hear the fierce belief that remained in his voice, "but sh-she w-will always be the woman I love!"

The Doctor ran a weary hand over his face, as though to seek temporary refuge from Lee's imploring gaze. He couldn't hide for long, though, and Lee was still there when he opened his eyes.

"I've told you," he sighed, sounding exhausted and defeated. "She'll die."

"D-Doctor, p-please! W-we were t-trapped in The L-Library for over a c-century. I have n-nothing left! My home world is n-nothing like I kn-knew. Wh-what's the p-point of being alive if you've g-got n-nothing to l-live for?"

"There's always a point!" the Doctor snapped. "Building a new life for yourself is what Donna would have wanted."

"Wh-what she w-wanted was to spend her life with m-me!" Lee flared. "She s-said she'd find me, but now she can't, I have to f-find her. D-death us do p-part!"

The Doctor was quickly losing his patience. "That's exactly what'll happen if you go to her now. Even if you changed your name and started again, she'd be at risk. She would always be at risk."

Lee sighed and hung his head for a moment in thought, or perhaps even prayer. The Doctor blinked away the emotion that had been rising in him since this discussion had begun.

"F-fine," Lee stammered after a long moment. "I und-understand. I'll l-leave her b-be–"

"–_Thank you_–"

"–but only if you can t-tell me that Donna – the Donna we b-both kn-knew – w-wouldn't t-take th-th-the risk. Y-you've s-seen the life she l-leads now, D-Doctor. W-would sh-she be satisfied?"

And as Lee posed this torturous question, the Doctor saw the final moments of the Donna he had known as though played out before his eyes: her face, full of desperation and grief and fear as she pleaded with him not to take away all that she'd become…

He could not deny it: if there had been any other option, if there had been a chance for her to regain just an echo of who she was, she'd have taken it without hesitation. She was happy now, on Earth – but the Donna he knew would never have been satisfied with the life that now stretched out before her, long and insignificant, with no-one to help her realise her extraordinary potential.

"No," the Doctor admitted at last. His voice was a mere murmur. "She wouldn't."

"Th-then perhaps we m-make the decision for her."

There was a pause so full of gravity that it made the Doctor wanted to slide to the ground. "Can we do that?"

"I d-don't know…" Lee's voice was a confused sigh. "If it might make her life b-better…"

"It might _destroy_ her life."

"She m-might be k-k… killed tomorrow. She won't l-live forever; n-neither will I. But if I c-could just m-make her happy; if I c-could just know that the D-Donna that's locked inside her m-m-memories would be satisfied…"

"I can't make that decision," the Doctor replied, his resolution returning. "I can't let you risk killing her."

There was another silence. At last, Lee seemed to have lost his argument; the colour had vanished from his cheeks again and he was staring at the ceiling, eyes glistening with tears in the golden glow of TARDIS-light.

"It wasn't real, in some ways," he said, very quietly, so that the Doctor barely heard him over the comforting whir of the engines. "Our m-marriage, I mean – our kids. But no, they _were_ real, I know h-how I felt for them. I wish I c-could remember more than I do… it slipped away like a d-dream. All I r-remember is her f-face, t-telling me that she would f-find me. And I think I m-might have f-forgotten that if I hadn't g-glimpsed her as I was leaving The Library…"

"Like a dream," the Doctor repeated, staring. His face was suddenly transported. "Lee, a dream, that's it! Donna said the memory of the life she had inside The Library's computer was fading, like a dream you can't quite remember. She'd forgotten it, naturally, just like that!"

"I d-don't…"

"I made her forget, but it's like a sheet of glass in her mind, separating the surface memories from the memories I've buried. One tiny splinter and the whole thing shatters, because it's all really still there, like water beneath thin ice. But real, proper, natural memory loss – that's different. There's nothing there to remember – nothing that might splinter the glass. If she remembers anything at all, it won't be real to her. It'll all be a dream – and what a fantastic dream!"

"Y-you mean…" After all their talking, Lee seemed unable to believe what the Doctor was saying. "Y-you'll take me t-to m-my wife?"

"Oh, Lee," the Doctor grinned, springing to life and bounding over to the TARDIS console, "you just watch me!"

"You'd better change your name, just to be on the safe side," the Doctor told Lee. They had landed; the journey had been quick and energetic, full of the Doctor's gleeful shouts. He couldn't believe he'd found a way; he'd never have dared to think it, just an hour ago. "Have a similar face to someone she might have dreamt of once and she won't think anything of it – but have the same name and we could be in trouble."

He flashed a mischievous smile.

"It's alr-right," Lee assured him. "L-Lee isn't my r-real name. It's a n-n-nickname."

"Ah – so _that's_ why Donna couldn't find you on the list of people saved from The Library! What _is_ your name?"

"D-Donnelly," Lee replied. "Michael D-Donnelly."

The Doctor stared at him for a moment before erupting, "Donna Donnelly – HA!"

Before Lee had chance to do anything but look bewildered, the Doctor dived to the floor, pulled up a section of grate and rummaged around in a box beneath it. "Here," he said, re-emerging. "You'll need something to get started in your new life on planet Earth."

He handed a shining necklace over to Lee. "Genuine seventeenth century royal pendant. Russian. You'll get a decent price for it at any good antiques dealer – enough to be getting on with until you find a job. And keep a low profile, eh? But first…"

He ran to the door and wrenched it open. A cool night sky was visible outside. Plainly nervous, Lee joined him.

"A little further up this hill," the Doctor said, "you will find an elderly man with a telescope. Get chatting to him. Ask him to show you the constellations – they'll look different in this part of the galaxy. Anyway, he's Donna's grandfather. If she's not up there already, she'll visit… and you two can get to know each other all over again."

"D-Doctor…" Lee began, but he was lost for words.

The Doctor stayed only long enough to wave his unexpected passenger off with a surging feeling of elation he had quite forgotten since Donna's enforced departure from the TARDIS. He paused to watch the scanner. As Lee climbed, a fiery shock of red hair became visible over the crest of the hill. She turned and looked at him, tossed back her hair and smiled.

"Hi," she said before Lee could speak. "I'm Donna."

The Doctor grinned and switched off the scanner. That journey had come to an end a lifetime ago; but now – at last – he could permit himself to embark upon the next golden adventure.

_**The End.**_


End file.
